Charlie Magdaleno: Blog

  Lately, there have been a few things going on that have made me start to wonder about the nature of true and false.  As kids, I think many of us grow up with an understanding that the truth is fair, and decent, and pure; and that a lie is malevolent, deceptive, and hurtful.

  But when you really think about it, is honesty HONESTLY the best policy?

  Is a lie always so wrong?

  Sometimes we need to lie.  

  Sometimes we need to lie to protect the ones we love.  

  Sometimes we need to lie to protect ourselves.

  And the truth isn't always our friend.

  Sometimes the truth hurts.

  Sometimes the truth destroys.

  Sometimes the truth is to no benefit but our own.

  Sometimes the truth is no benefit to anyone.

  Eventually, I think we all come to realize that it's not about doing the honest thing, and it never was.  It's about doing the right thing, as it always is.

  Sometimes we've gotta say, "It's gonna be okay," even when we don't know for sure- even when it's not.

  Sometimes, when your troops are counting on you, you've got to act like a man- even when you feel like a mouse.

  Sometimes, you've got to flash a smile- even when you're clenching your teeth behind it.

 Certainly the truth can "set you free," but still, there are some things that should be left unsaid- even if they ARE the truth.  

  At his execution, you don't tell a boy his father was a monster.

  Unless there is a legitimate reason (and not merely your own jealousy or sadness), you should just "forever hold your peace."

  When a friend comes knocking at your door at 1 a.m. asking if you can talk; even when you've got that big presentation in 8 hours, even when you're not "in the mood," even when it'd be better or more convenient for you some other time; the only suitable response is: "Come on in."

The fact of the matter is, when it comes to telling the truth or telling a lie, it's all situational.  There's a time and place for the truth, as well as a time and place for lies.  Communication is a complex thing with every consonant, vowel, movement, and expression having a slider and a switch all their own.

  It's not about true or false, selfish or selfless, or good or bad.  It always comes down to right or wrong.  

  Sometimes the right thing feels wrong.  

  Sometimes the right thing IS wrong (technically).  

  Sometimes the right thing is tailored perfectly for your happiness.

  Most of the the time, the right thing will leave you out in the cold.

  But that's why it's the "right" thing.  It's not the "easy" thing or the "fun" thing; and it's not necessarily the "honest" or even the "fair" thing.  

  In this life, with every word propelled by our breath and ever action taken by our bodies, there is more at stake than our own wants and needs.  We would all do well to remember this.

  Personally, with the hearts and minds of the ones I love on the line and even at the expense of my own, I have to say that when they're at odds, "honor" beats out "honesty" every time.